I will be explaining the title in this post because, go figure, there's actually an interesting story/thought process involved.
I have a friend. I actually have several friends, but I will be talking mainly about this one. I have known B. (That is what I will call her, instead of "her", because that will get old fast.) for a while now. But, most importantly, I knew her when she was in middle school. I think everyone can admit-and I'll be one of them, raising my hand going "Ooh, ooh, pick me!"-they weren't at their best or brightest during those three years. B. wasn't an exception. She was a girl of the really-needy-wants-a-lot-of-attention variety. A common expression of this need for attention/reassurance would go something like this:
B. [Looking in a mirror, or inspecting herself somehow if a mirror isn't available]: Oh god my butt is so gross, I have cottage cheese thighs!
Me [Checking out B.'s butt, because I feel if I don't look then I'll be lying. Also, it is actually quite nice-looking]: No, you don't. You look great!
I had other friends (a lot of whom I don't talk to anymore) who did this. Someone who also knew B. once referred to it as "fishing for compliments." And that's what it is. B. feels insecure, so she voices the insecurity knowing I will say something to reassure her that she's pretty, or a good person, or whatever she's feeling she's not. I think, on some subconscious level, everyone who has ever felt insecure has done this at least once, on purpose or by accident.
For some reason, that phrase stuck with me. B. either stopped doing that, or got more tolerable about it (I think it's the latter-I tolerated it more, too.), but it was still on my mind, like something you hear that sounds like a really good title for something, and you hang onto it, in the hopes you can use it someday. Well, that's exactly what I did, I suppose. I turned that phrase around in my head for a couple weeks, and at some point I thought "You know what? I'm going to
earn my compliments." Not that I went around bashing myself so people would make me feel better, but I didn't want people to compliment me because they thought I needed the self-esteem boost. I want to get complimented because I have some wonderfully good quality that stands out to someone
so much that they want to tell me about it. (Still, I'm really bad at taking compliments. I just can't believe anything about me is that great. Well, I know I'm an alright person, but I just feel weird when people point it out.)
(A quick shout out to my friends who are reading this: I appreciate the support, I really do, but I want you to keep reading this only if you like reading this. I'm going to have to earn the followers who have never met me before, so I should earn you too. Also, if I screw up any grammar/spelling on here,
tell me. I don't mind being corrected, and that way I'll better my grammar skills. They're very important for picking up members of the opposite sex.)
How did this become the title? Well, part of the reason, that I can actually put my finger on, is that I suggested it as a band name for a friend and got shot down. I'm not resentful, I just figure it's kind of an awesome title and if they don't like it then I'm going to use it. Of course, I did some searching around and found that there is a blog with the same name. But, it appears to have died. Which is sad, but probably good because I'd feel like a jerk if I stole someone's name (even accidentally). Also, it seems like one of those title that isn't too cheesy, is a little self-deprecating (that appeals to me a lot-you gotta be able to make fun of yourself just as much as you make fun of others), and I could take that "one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish" thing from Dr. Suess for a potential background picture. Ok, that last part is mostly an added bonus; it didn't have that much weight in the decision-making process.
So now, in spirit of the season, I'll bring up something about Christmas. I know for a good portion of people-including my parents-it's a religious thing, a very important one. Something I don't get, however, is how the Santa-brings-gifts-and-we-open-them-today part of it seems so exclusively Christian. Yes, I know the Christmas
tree and
date was adopted by Christians to get more pagans to convert (because, you know, if someone wanted me to change my religion, as long as the holidays are similar I'm up for it). But I don't see why anyone can't celebrate it. Yes, it's incredibly materialistic and the music is really annoying when it starts playing
right after Thanksgiving. But it's great fun for kids, and if you don't have kids well now you have an excuse to
party. If you do celebrate it, do you remember how excited you were as a kid, waiting all night for tomorrow to come, so you could open your presents? Sure, the motive was greedy, but it's good to be excited about something. And you know what? Not being excited about things can be a sign of
depression. Maybe I'm onto something.
But hey, it's not always about yourself. Giving presents (good presents, that people don't have to fake liking) is one of my favorite things to do. I've been told I'm really good at it, but really, it's a product of how observant I can sometimes be. Example; I was riding in C.'s car with him, listening to a Barenaked Ladies CD. At one point, he mentioned that his mother's (who passed away almost a decade ago) favorite CD by them was
Maybe You Should Drive. He had a birthday coming up, so at some point I found it on Amazon, and ordered it. It made up for the fact that I completely failed at making him a card. So there's my tip; pay attention to things that are important to that person, and usually you can find a fantastic gift idea. (Or, you get really lucky and here them talk about something they want/lack. After Christmas I might write up a list of what I gave people, and how I decided to get those items. Maybe it will be helpful.)
Merry Christmas! (or whatever you're celebrating this time of year, I hope you have fun.)
