Fishing For Compliments: How One Man Ruined The Christmas Eve Service For Me.

I think we all know a person, who has some sort of learning disability or what's called a social cognitive disorder. Or something similar. My brother has some sort of learning thing that affects his reading, and one of my cousins has Down's Syndrome. I'm not sure what this guy has. It doesn't really matter. He's a member of the church my parents go to, that I also attend twice a year (Easter and Christmas Eve, and sometimes a day or two that they manage to drag me out of bed for). He's about my dad's age, I think, but as far as I can tell his brain still thinks he's eight. He's got something going on.

Now before I continue this, I want to make one thing very clear: I have nothing against this guy. He kinda weirds me out, sure, but I don't hate him. This (short) story is a collision of unfortunate circumstances and none of the bad feelings that I came away with are directed at him. (I've been pretty disenamored with religion in general for a couple years now. My discomfort attending a service for a religion I don't think I believe in was just magnified by this.)

So, I went to my twice-yearly church experience. (Even when I sorta believed in religion/God I didn't like going to church.) I actually kind of enjoy this service, for two reasons: 1) I don't really go to that many services, so the length/content doesn't disinterest me as much as it could, and 2) The candlelight singing of "Silent Night" is beautiful, religious connotations or not. I sat in one of the pews nearest the main entrance to the sanctuary of the church. This guy, I noticed partway into the service, was seated on the pew opposite me, also near the doors.

The reason I noticed was because I've heard him sing in the past. He always sings at the church's annual talent show, and I know everyone's trying to be nice and not hurt his feelings by having him perform. (Also, they don't really make people audition. You tell the signup sheet what you will be doing so that someone can make sure it's church appropriate. Talent isn't necessarily involved.) But, well, he's not very good. He sounds like someone singing with headphones on. He doesn't realize it. Which, uh, makes sense I guess given the way his brain works. It's forgivable. I know I can't carry a tune but that doesn't stop me from singing.

It wasn't that bad. At first.

I had one of those moments, where I notice something that's a little irritating and brush it off at first, but now that I've noticed it I can't ignore it.

It wasn't that bad, but I could hear it and why was he singing so loud!? I tried not to pay attention, but usually when people sing in church they don't go for maximum volume; this guy did.

By the end of the service, the candlelight "Silent Night" had been ruined in my mind. It hadn't been hauntingly beautiful like the years before. I was determined never to attend that service again.